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Sunday, April 13th, 2008

Subject:if you doubted...
Time:10:56 pm.
Let it be certian, I am a geek. If there was doubt, it should be dispelled by the fact that i have a pair of superman dice. yes. superman dice. they're 6-sided. 4 sides have superman on them, 2 have darkseid on them.

me<--geek
Comments: Read 7 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, March 9th, 2008

Subject:whoa
Time:10:23 pm.
So i'm pretty lucky to have access to a practice space where i can play my electric guitar at volume at pretty much anytime i need. So i went there tonight 'cuz I felt a particular need to bury myself in singing and playing some music to God. I was playing one of my personal favorite worship songs (As I Am originally by the Violet Burning), and I reach the climax of the song, as the song kicks in and peaks at "...light of the world come, please come, shine on me..." and i'm strumming like i've never strummed and the amp is overdriving like nobody's business and all i can do is raise my voice to hear myself over it and all of a sudden i'm screaming at the top of my lungs and the guitar is screaming along with me and i'm hitting the strings so hard i expect even my low "e" string to be breaking any moment and all I can do is keep singing, over and over at the very top of our lungs. and then the moment comes where i realize what all is happening and it goes on for a few more seconds before i come to a stop. I stand there, in awe, for a second, contemplating what just happened and i know exactly what the proper response is, can be, must be. I practically tear off my guitar, setting it on the floor next to me as all I can do is collapse to the floor, falling to my knees and all I can do is bow so close to the ground, covering my head in most reverent worship...not out of fear or anything like that, not because anything in the room has changed or is any different, no spirit of God seems to have settled, but simply because for a moment it seems that a small glimpse of the true majesty of God has been perceived. I guarantee you, the only proper response to the Lord God Most High, Creator of Heaven and Earth, even the smallest glimpse, is reverent worship.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Subject:...not a poem...
Time:10:57 am.
Broken, wild
Torn asunder
Ravaged, raving
Wanting, craving
Sleepless nights
and Restless days
Thrown upon the Rock
Left for nothing
Left with nothing
Taken, torn
Wanting more
Forgotten, lonely
Holding empty



"Yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me; You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay."
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, February 24th, 2008

Subject:One particular moment in time
Time:2:31 am.
I've written about those moments that are so perfect you're afraid that they'll actually end, and inevitably they do. I guess they could seem so perfect, but buried in that moment is the fear of ending, of breathing, of changing. But how could such a moment be held in such esteem when it is, in fact, ruled by an underlying fear?

But maybe, just ever so maybe, they're not so perfect as the moments you slide into, so quietly and comfortably, the moments you savor in their tranquility. Those moments you know will end, sometimes sooner, sometimes a little bit later, but you're not afraid of their ending. Why should you be afraid when you know that it's not moments, not one particular moment in time, but rather a confluence of moments that really grasps you, that wraps you up and holds you. How can you be afraid of a moment's ending, when you know that this time was preceded by another such occurrence and shall in it's own due time be a precedence for another such passing?
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Saturday, February 9th, 2008

Subject:Interesting things of note in my life....
Time:2:25 pm.
I have not had one single drop of soda of any kind for about two months. In probably the month or so two before that, I had a combined 1-2 glasses. Since halloween actually.

In the same time, I have not had any fast food. The last time I ate "fast food" was before christmas, I had some fast chinese food.

I've had hole-in-the-wall pizza and some other restaurant food since then...it was good, let there be no doubt, but it definately wasn't easy on my stomach.

I have even mostly weeded out highly processed foods (no more rice-a-roni for nate!). Not completely, but mostly. My primary diet consists of fresh meat, fresh or frozen veggies, and pasta or rice.

I am not on a diet, because i don't believe in diets. Mostly i'm just trying to change my entire eating lifestyle.

So far so good. Mostly i don't miss any of the above, but every once in awhile i get a good jack in the box craving. and I refuse to cut In-n-Out of the picture, and when/if Sonic ever shows up around here, i'll not avoid it.
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, February 6th, 2008

Subject:more football...
Time:12:13 am.
this last saturday's game wasn't quite as spectacular...but successful, none-the-less.

I probably rushed for 60-80 yards with two touchdown runs. i played QB a bit, don't know the exact stats, but i was i would guess roughly 10 of 22 for 140-ish yards and one touchdown catch (which was Ben Vose and counted for probably half my yards). Couple tackles, couple passes defended (one of which i should have intercepted), and a lot of QB pressure.

and we won :) i was on Ben's team, though, of course. he's still mostly invincible.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, January 27th, 2008

Subject:Ricky, this is what you missed....
Time:12:12 pm.
Football yesterday...

Defense:
6-7 tackles. 2 passes deflected (should have been interceptions). 1 forced fumble.

Offense:
I'm guessing around 150 yards rushing on 12-15 carries, 2 rushing touchdowns. 3 receptions, about 20 yards, and one more touchdown receiving. 6 of 10 passing, maybe 30 yards, with 2 interceptions.

and the great undefeated streak of Ben Vose has come to an end.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, January 21st, 2008

Subject:I wrote a song...
Time:1:23 am.
Gently...

"Sittin' here with my broken guitar
The strings are all worn out
Dinner's cooking on the kitchen stove
There's no-one here to share with
And I'm thinking what's the use
Of coming home tonight
To the darkened lights underneath an empty roof
And the quiet life
My guitar gently cried...

Just another lonely desperate song
Of some guy with a broken heart
Singing just to please a pretty girl
Who might take me home tonight
So I'm thinking what's the use
Of going home with you
To the darkened lights underneath an empty roof
And a wasted night
My guitar gently cried

Sometimes mistakes are all we have
When nothing's going right
That empty place inside our heart
Grows cold each day with doubt
And I'm thinking what's the use
Of being me tonight
With the darkened lights underneath an empty roof
Make me feel alive
My guitar gently cried
Broken by the night
We gave up on light
My guitar gently cried...
"
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Sunday, December 16th, 2007

Time:1:32 am.
Hmmm. did i die? it's possible...hopefully you'll see me back soon...
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, November 17th, 2007

Subject:You all thought i was crazy...
Time:2:05 am.
courtesy of Tyree...

Fear the very real possibility of a zombie invasion!

There's a reason i hate the undead. I keep a wooden stake in my bedroom, just in case. i should get a baseball bat too. these are important anti-zombie tools. You all laugh now. You won't laugh when the zombies come. You better hope you're on my good side or i won't save you!
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, November 13th, 2007

Subject:Winnin' Big...
Time:1:00 am.
Well, apparently I continue to have wonderful luck in the gambling arts. I claim no skill in this particular endeavor (although my poker skills have won me over a hundred bucks on their own, as well as several non-prize money tournaments), but I did come home with a $110 bankroll from the football office pool, winning two of the quarters of the 49ers/Seahawks game. This is not the first time i've won in the pool...last year i pulled down a spot in the AFC championship game that pulled me in 75$. As Chris F would explain to me, perhaps this is why my luck with girls is so bad...i've got luck with cards instead. Hmmm...i best go to Vegas if that's the case ;)
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, November 10th, 2007

Subject:It may occur to people that i have a problem, an obsession if you will...
Time:2:24 am.
Payday means....


  • Gym Class Heroes As Cruel as School Children (I know they're hip-hop but I simply cannot get enough of their songs "Cupid's Chokehold" and "Clothes Off"...and they are a real band!)
  • Jimmy Eat World Chase This Light (I do love JEW...and Butch Vig produced the album!)
  • Finger Eleven Them VS You VS Me (that "Paralyser" song is one of the catchiest things this side of ever)
  • Eisley Combinations (there's just something appropriate about getting a new eisley album as the days grow shorter and winter grows near)


It's true. i've been known to download music. But I buy. Perfect example, one of the albums above, i downloaded to give it a listen. guess who went and bought it new after that? If you guessed me, you would be right. if you didn't guess me, then you may be right but your'e also not following the conversation.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, November 9th, 2007

Subject:oh what a night, late november back in...yeah, i know those lyrics are wrong and it's not late nov..
Time:2:21 am.
So tonight was crazy, in the good, really sort of profound way. After rehersal, Danielle, Alicia and I headed down to Santa Clara to visit Mike and Audrey at the hospital. Well, at first we were just mostly there only kind of visiting with Mike while Audrey remained indisposed, contractions and impending baby and all. And then they shoed us out and an hour and a half or so later we got to come back and meet little (er, big) newborn baby Kai! Perfect and cute and profoundly exciting little Kai.

I spent most of the time standing aside and being quiet and shy, but it was definately something that I dont know if i can really understand or explain or whatnot. I guess it's kind of something new for me, I mean i've never really been around, especially that close, to the birth of a new child. I suppose a lot of people would wonder at the miracle of it all, but i never really got the sense of that. I don't say that to downplay the incredible, awe-inspiring wonder of it all, not at all because it really is a pretty miraculous event. I think that the best way that I can describe it, and I don't even know if I can explain really what I mean by it all, but it seemed so very intimate, so very personal. Now, I obviously wasnt' there for the actual birth, so that may color this perception a little bit, but it seemed so quiet, so close. Granted, it was the middle of the night at the hospital, so there weren't really any people there and the ones that were there didn't say much or make much noise, so that may have contributed.

It was just really neat and really exciting and it's really got me thinking. I'm not even exactly sure about what, but thinking none-the-less.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, October 24th, 2007

Subject:Time after time...
Time:2:47 am.
So i know it's been awhile since I updated this journal, at least a real update. there's been a couple of times i've gone to sit down and do it, but it just didn't happen or whatever.

I can't say there's a whole lot going on right now in my life, so I suppose there's not a lot to write about. I got a tattoo, which i'm pretty spiff'd about. It's a verse from the bible (2nd Corinthians 3:5) in the original greek with the ikthus fish behind it.

i watched the raiders get beaten down by the Chiefs on sunday, went out and tailgated with a couple coworkers, the only chiefs fan in a backlot of diehard raiders fans deep in oakland. i could've died. you think i'm kidding, i'm not. I was proud of my team, but more proud of keeping my life so I kept my colors respectfully hidden. But we won, and that made my heart happy.

I've been talking with an old, old friend, Sara, a lot lately. It's kinda crazy, i think (with the exception of relatives), i think i've known sara longer than anyone else in my life i still talk to...i'd venture to guess i met sara first when i was about 10 or 11. I dont really know what it means, and i'm rather not tryign to guess, but I know we're gonna get together when i'm back in kansas city for christmas.

work has been going ok, i guess. we've been short staffed (which is funny because we're over-staffed, we just have the wrong staffing positions and schedules) on my shifts, so i've been a bit stressed out dealing with those shifts and stuff.

I've come down with a cold in the past few days, which is sort of annoying, on top of being sunburned from the football game.

the latest band i'm obsessed with is the Gym Class Heroes, which is sort of funny 'cuz they're not the sort of band i'd normally be at all obsessed with. crazy me. I'm also diggin' on the Automatic [Automatic] and the Silversun Pickups. those are more my speed.

anywhose, that's what i got for now. nothing special. maybe more soon. we'll see :)
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, October 7th, 2007

Time:3:47 am.
My apartment is freezing. i love it.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, October 1st, 2007

Subject:Yeah yeah yeah..
Time:7:05 pm.
So I broke down (broke is now a key word) an bought Heroes first season on DVD. I've been meaning to try to get into taht show for awhile, 'cuz by all indications it's exactly the sort of show taht I would love (and Jackson re-iterated that I would absolutely love it...and I generally trust Jackson's instincts in this regard).

So, I watched 4-5ish episodes last night. It started slower than I expected, not a bad slow (i kept watching), but it is definately starting to pick up. They're doing a great job of building a mystery and slowly revealing piece by piece by piece.

So far, so good. I'll be watching more episodes tonight. At this point i'm hooked, but not yet obsessed. I can see the later happening though, because it definately seems the type of show to go that direction.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, September 30th, 2007

Subject:w00t-tastic
Time:1:32 am.
So, Marce, Becca, and A-Con took me shopping today at Old Navy and picked out some new wardrobe stuff. Got some good stuff, the best part of course would be that they picked out stuff that i never would have picked out for myself but still looks great.

Ok, that's a lie. the best part? Well, since i've been in high school, basicly as long as i can remember, i've worn XL size shirts. But as we're trying on all these shirts...well, you see, i've been losing weight for a bit now, and we discovered that the XL shirts were generally too large for me...so I'm officially just a L now! and even one of them was a M, which they yanked off the mannequin! i'm mannequin material now, w00t!

I'm one sexy fother mucker, yo.
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, September 20th, 2007

Subject:yuP
Time:1:54 pm.
Flirt with the barista, get free beverages. I like this arrangement :)
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Monday, September 17th, 2007

Subject:Interesting...
Time:2:39 am.
So i've pretty much felt like crap for the past few days, since wednesday. Sick days from work and not eating for 3 days andstuff, even. Well, not today, i went into work today. I had started to feel better this morning then it all took a turn for the worse and i was feelin way out as i headed in to work. It was all sort of blah until I had my lunch and i got myself a coffee. Just plain coffee. First coffee i've had since tuesday.

guess what? after i had it, i felt a million times better. literally as soon as i started drinking that coffee, i began to feel better. I am not exaggerating. Coffee. Cures what ails you.
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, September 15th, 2007

Subject:morbid much
Time:1:05 am.
So, this may seem like a bit of a silliness to all ya'all, but i figure i might as well put it down. I've seen enough people die lately that i figure this won't hurt. i don't expect to die anytime soon, because i plan to live forever or die trying, but anyways, in the unlikely and unfortunate event that i do pass on...


  • Isabelle, my telecaster, goes to my brother daniel. As does my blues jr. amp.
  • Lexy, my Schecter, goes to Dusty as does my behringer GMX212 amp.
  • Rachael may choose from either Veronica, my Fernandes electric, or Gracie, my Martin acoustic, as well as my Epiphone amp. Heck, she could have all of them if she wants.
  • Teresa gets Pickachu, my bass guitar.
  • Danielle may have the Blue beast, which she's already got.
  • Kris, who i'm sure nobody knows who is, may go to whoever is brave enough to want her.


I think that's pretty much all I own of value. well, at least anything that i actually value. You could do what you want with the rest.
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

LiveJournal for His Royal Highness, the Emperor of Penguins.

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